1. Being married isn’t like the movies: Waking up to the birds singing and breakfast in bed by your husband every morning is great, but that’s not reality. Marriage isn’t anything like you see it in the movies.
2. I’m a wife: Once you’re married you realize wow I am actually somebody’s wife. With this title holds all new responsibilities.
3. Keep your marriage to yourself: I think the reason my husband and I have been together for so long is because we don’t let outsiders in. Of course we have family and close friends we talk to during tough times. But I have noticed it’s better to keep your circle very small. Many people don’t care about you or your marriage they just want to be nosy.
4. It’s not all about you: Being engaged or even in a relationship it’s never all about you. But being married is entirely new ball game. Because being engaged or in a relationship is way different than being married. Things are no longer about whats best for me but now about whats best for us. Especially when it comes to making big decisions which we have learned a lot about this year first hand.
5. Silent treatment is dumb: Being married is a team effort that requires so much work. I am the type of person who gets mad and give the silent treatment. But I have learned that just isn’t good for a marriage and it’s not very nice either.
6. You won’t always agree: Some people think that since you’re married you need to agree on everything which isn’t the case. It’s okay to disagree on things and it actually is pretty healthy.
7. Date nights are important: We have 2 kids ages 2 and 4, they are a handful. When we are able to getaway for a date night it’s amazing. A few days ago we went to see a movie together and have dinner. It’s nice being able to catch up and focus on the two of us for a few hours.
8. Build each other up: It’s easy to tear someone down but a really good spouse will build you up, encourage you, push you, make you better. In other words your spouse should be your #1 fan.
9. Let my control go: I am extremely bossy and love planning and controlling every situation I am in. I learned that being married means I have to let that go sometimes. It’s okay to want to be in control or plan but not all the time. You can’t control or plan your marriage. It just doesn’t work that way.
10. Patience: This one actually comes from my husband. When I asked him what’s one thing you learned from this first year? He said “patience. Lots and lots of patience.” Ha, he’s right. It’s not easy being married but its definitely worth it and with hard work and a ton of patience any marriage can be successful I believe.
I love you Dayjhan Carr.